Most families choose funeral songs for mom around her kitchen table, with the order of service due at the printer in two days. Need one tonight? Make it "Supermarket Flowers" by Ed Sheeran (2017).
Sheeran wrote it in his mother's voice after his grandmother died. Nothing in it is grand. She takes the flowers off the windowsill and throws out yesterday's tea. Then the photo album goes in a box.
There's also a broader list of funeral songs for music that fits any loss.
Songs written about mothers
Some families want the words to be about her and nobody else. These songs do that. Two were written by sons who lost their mothers young. The rest were sung to mothers who were still alive, and those can be easier to sit through.
Watch the running time. Four minutes feels long when a room is sitting still, so tell whoever presses play to fade after the last chorus.
- "Let It Be" by The Beatles (1970). Most of the room will know the words, so expect quiet singing. McCartney's mother, Mary, came to him in a dream years after she died, and this is what he wrote.
- "Julia" by The Beatles (1968). Just Lennon and an acoustic guitar, singing to the mother he lost at 17. It can't be played loud, so don't try.
- "Coat of Many Colors" by Dolly Parton (1971). For a mom who sewed. Dolly's coat was stitched from rags, the other kids laughed, and she wore it anyway.
- "A Song for Mama" by Boyz II Men (1997). Written by Babyface for the film Soul Food. Choose it if she kept R&B on in the car.
- "Mama" by Spice Girls (1996). About growing up and finally seeing what your mom had been doing all along.
- "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (1973). Her advice, more or less word for word, sung back by her son. Close to six minutes, so pick the fade before the day.
- "You'll Be in My Heart" by Phil Collins (1999). From Tarzan, where it plays as the gorilla mother holds the baby she adopted. Young grandchildren may know it.
- "The Best Day" by Taylor Swift (2008). Taylor Swift recorded it in secret and gave it to her mom at Christmas. Each verse jumps a few years, the way a slideshow does.
- "Mother" by Kacey Musgraves (2018). Under two minutes. A daughter thinking about her mother, who is thinking about her own.
- "Mom" by Garth Brooks (2014). Told from heaven by a baby who is nervous about being born, until God tells him about his mom.
Hymns she sang on Sundays
In older families she was often Mother rather than Mom, and funeral songs for Mother still come mostly from the hymn book. Most people half-know the words, so print them in the order of service.
Ask the church which hymns they allow. The organist will want the titles early, along with how many verses to play.
- "Amazing Grace" (hymn). If the room is too tired to sing, play Judy Collins's recording from 1970.
- "How Great Thou Art" (hymn). The one people often sing loudest. Elvis Presley made it the title of his 1967 gospel album.
- "In the Garden" (hymn). For the mother who was out in her flower beds before breakfast. The chorus is easy to pick up.
- "It Is Well with My Soul" (hymn). Written by a father after a shipwreck took his four daughters. The tune is easy to follow, even for people who don't go to church.
- "Abide With Me" (hymn). A slow evening hymn, finished by Henry Francis Lyte the year he died. Ask the organist to keep the pace up, or the last verses drag.
- "The Lord's My Shepherd" (hymn). Psalm 23 in verse, usually sung to the tune called Crimond.
- "I'll Fly Away" (gospel hymn). Quick and bright, and some churches clap along. The 2000 recording by Alison Krauss and Gillian Welch is easy to find.
- "On Eagle's Wings" (hymn). Michael Joncas's setting of Psalm 91, from 1979. Catholic families in the US will likely know it from Mass.
Funeral songs for mom from the years she was young
Go by the years she was about sixteen to twenty-five. That's what she danced to before she had you, and what she turned up on the kitchen radio years later.
The list runs oldest first, so find her decade and start there. If brothers and sisters disagree, use one song at the service and put the other in the slideshow.
- "Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)" by Doris Day (1956). The last verse is a mother answering her own children. Good for a mom born before 1945.
- "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King (1961). Three minutes or so, and people start humming at the bass line.
- "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong (1967). Short and warm. It works while people are still finding seats.
- "My Way" by Frank Sinatra (1969). Sinatra at his most stubborn. Choose it for a mother who made up her own mind.
- "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel (1970). Art Garfunkel sings it, and the piano builds to a loud last verse. Fade early if the room is very quiet.
- "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac (1975). About getting older and deciding whether to change course. Gentle enough to open the service.
- "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper (1983). Play it as a promise from her to you.
- "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler (1988). A thank-you to someone who stayed in the background while the singer got the credit.
- "Fields of Gold" by Sting (1993). Sting wrote it looking out at barley fields near his home in England, and it's slow enough for the final song.
Country songs for her service
A mom who kept country radio on in the car will know most of these. Several are about losing her.
Many country ballads end on a long steel guitar solo, so ask for a fade once the singing stops.
- "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye" by Patty Loveless (1993). The last verse is a daughter sitting with her dying mother. Keep tissues in the front row.
- "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" by Steve Wariner (1998). Steve Wariner sings about a family that loses a grandmother, then a mother. The last verse is a wedding in the rain.
- "Go Rest High on That Mountain" by Vince Gill (1994). Vince Gill finished it after his brother died. Play it as people stand at the end.
- "Mama's Song" by Carrie Underwood (2009). A daughter telling her mother she can stop worrying about her now. Fits well after a daughter's eulogy.
- "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack (2000). Reads like a mother's wishes for her children.
- "Could I Have This Dance" by Anne Murray (1980). A slow waltz from a Canadian singer. Use it with your parents' wedding photos.
- "When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton (2005). About arriving in heaven and seeing the people you lost. Dolly Parton sings with him.
Songs for the slideshow of her life
Families usually run the slideshow before the service starts, while people find seats and sign the guest book. At five seconds a photo, 150 pictures take about 12 minutes, or three or four songs.
Her childhood goes first and the grandchildren last. Add one photo of something she wrote, like a recipe card in her handwriting. A practical note: test it on the venue's screen the day before, with the sound up.
- "Those Were the Days" by Mary Hopkin (1968). Recorded by an 18-year-old from Wales. It speeds up as it goes, which fits photos of your mom as a teenager.
- "Slipping Through My Fingers" by ABBA (1981). A parent watching a daughter grow up too fast. Use it over her children's school photos.
- "Have I Told You Lately" by Van Morrison (1989). For the wedding photos. The original is softer than Rod Stewart's later cover.
- "Remember When" by Alan Jackson (2003). Made for a slideshow. It walks through a marriage from the early years to grandchildren.
- "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart (1988). Rod Stewart wrote it about his own children, and the beat is steady enough for photos.
- "Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There Is a Season)" by The Byrds (1965). The words come from Ecclesiastes, so it sits easily beside the hymns. Pete Seeger set them to music.
- "I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan (1995). Slow and quiet, for the last few photos.
- "Memories" by Maroon 5 (2019). Adam Levine's song for the band's manager, who died in 2017. The grandchildren will know it.
Upbeat songs if she'd want people smiling
When she was the first one dancing at every wedding, close the service with something bright. Funeral songs for mom don't all need to be slow, and it's all right to let people laugh as they leave.
These also work at the gathering afterward, with food out and people talking. Keep the volume low enough for conversation.
- "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley and the Wailers (1977). Calm enough for a church and happy enough for the gathering after.
- "I'll Always Love My Mama" by The Intruders (1973). Philadelphia soul, all about mothers, and easy to sing along to.
- "Lovely Day" by Bill Withers (1977). Near the end he holds one note for about eighteen seconds. People smile when they notice.
- "Our House" by Madness (1982). A busy family home with a tired mom keeping it running. For a family from the UK.
- "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (1967). Two voices promising that no distance can keep them apart. Play it as people walk out.
- "Happy" by Pharrell Williams (2013). For a younger mom, and best kept for the gathering afterward.
Introducing the song at the service
One sentence is enough when you introduce the song. Say why you chose it, then sit down. Something like "Mom sang this at the sink every Sunday night, so it's hers today" is plenty.
Ask one person to press play, maybe your cousin Leah, and nobody else. A seat near the front helps. She'll need the running order on paper and a backup copy on a second phone.
In the order of service, list the song title and the artist next to her photo. People look these up on the drive home. They'll want the right version, so copy the artist's name exactly as it appears on the album.
A song with her name in it
Every song above was written for someone else first, as most songs for mom who passed away are. HeartCraft can make a song about your mom. You share a few memories, like the apron on the hook or the way she hummed at the stove. Her name is sung in the chorus. It's ready in about 10 minutes and comes to your WhatsApp or email as a link to forward to the family.
A few last questions
How many songs does a funeral service need?
Usually three or four. One plays as people come in, one after the eulogy, one at the close and sometimes one at the graveside. A slideshow needs its own three or four.
What should we play on the drive to the cemetery?
Something she loved, at low volume, with only the closest family in the car. Put a short playlist together the night before. For more slow picks, try our list of songs about losing a loved one.
Can the grandchildren choose one of the songs?
Yes. Let each grandchild pick one song for the slideshow, and read the lyrics before the day.
What if she left a list of the songs she wanted?
Use her list first, even if a choice surprises you. If one of her songs is long, play the first half at the service and the whole thing at the gathering afterward.