Funeral songs for dad that sound like the man you knew

His truck radio may still be set to his station. That is a fair place to begin, because the funeral songs for dad that land best are often the ones he played in that truck with the window down. Try "Dance with My Father" by Luther Vandross (2003) first.

Luther wrote it with Richard Marx about his own father, who died when Luther was a boy. More songs about fathers follow, then country, crooners, rock, hymns and music for the slideshow and the walk out. There's also a wider list of funeral songs for any service.

Songs about fathers

A few of these were written by sons after their fathers died. They are songs about dads who passed away, by people who had been through it. A couple came while the father was still alive to hear them, and those sound more like a thank-you than a goodbye.

If one is too much for the service, keep it for the drive home. For that drive, and the weeks after it, there's a gentler list of songs about losing a loved one.

• "The Living Years" by Mike + The Mechanics (1988). Go gently with this one: it is about the things a son never said to his father while there was time.
• "My Father's Eyes" by Eric Clapton (1998). Clapton never met his father, and the song goes looking for him in the face of his own son.
• "Leader of the Band" by Dan Fogelberg (1981). Dan Fogelberg's thank-you to his father, a band leader. Lovely if your dad taught you an instrument, or tried to.
• "Daddy's Hands" by Holly Dunn (1986). Written about her own father, whose hands were soft when she cried and hard when she'd done wrong.
• "Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own" by U2 (2004). Bono wrote it about his father. The middle gets loud, so test the volume in the room first.
• "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens (1970). Cat Stevens sings both parts, the father low and patient, the son in a hurry.
• "My Hometown" by Bruce Springsteen (1984). A boy steers his dad's car from his lap, and by the last verse that boy is grown and doing the same for his own son.
• "Old Man" by Neil Young (1972). Strictly, the old man is the caretaker on Neil Young's ranch. You can still hear a father in it.
• "My Father" by Judy Collins (1968). The father in it keeps promising the family a life in France someday. For the dad with big plans.
• "Father and Daughter" by Paul Simon (2002). Choose it if you were his little girl; Paul Simon sings it as a father to a young daughter.

Funeral songs for dad from the country station

Try these in his truck, if it's still in the driveway with the seat pushed back where he left it. Country writers have spent decades on fathers, pickups, church pews and long drives, and they say the plain thing out loud.

His friends from work may sing along under their breath.

• "Go Rest High on That Mountain" by Vince Gill (1994). Patty Loveless and Ricky Skaggs sing harmony behind him. At a country funeral, people may be surprised if it is missing.
• "Drive (For Daddy Gene)" by Alan Jackson (2002). Alan Jackson wrote it for his father, who let him drive an old boat and a Ford pickup as a boy.
• "He Didn't Have to Be" by Brad Paisley (1999). If he chose to be your dad, this one says so.
• "I Drive Your Truck" by Lee Brice (2012). Sung to someone who died, by the person now driving his truck with every window rolled down.
• "My Old Man" by Zac Brown Band (2017). Best for a son who has kids of his own now.
• "The Dance" by Garth Brooks (1989). Garth Brooks at his plainest. The good years were worth the hard ending, and the song says so without fuss.
• "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw (2004). Upbeat enough to lift the room. Tim McGraw released it the same year his father, the baseball pitcher Tug McGraw, died.
• "Don't Blink" by Kenny Chesney (2007). A man turning 102 tells a TV news crew how fast it all went. It suits a father who reached a great age.
• "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood (2009). The last verse is an old man in a hospital bed with his family around him.

Crooners and older classics

Late on a Saturday, after the house went quiet, plenty of fathers put on a record and sat in the good chair in an old flannel shirt. These are the songs from that hour, and most of them are short. The older relatives will probably know every word.

• "My Way" by Frank Sinatra (1969). Paul Anka wrote the English words with Sinatra in mind. If your dad lived on his own terms and said so, the room will know why you picked it.
• "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong (1967). Just over two minutes, and gentle enough for small children at their first funeral.
• "Smile" by Nat King Cole (1954). Quiet and kind. The melody came from Charlie Chaplin's film Modern Times.
• "Danny Boy" (Irish ballad). Set to the old Londonderry Air, and Johnny Cash recorded it near the end of his life.
• "You'll Never Walk Alone" by Gerry and the Pacemakers (1963). Liverpool fans sing it at Anfield before every home game. If he followed the team, it's his.
• "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King (1961). The bass line alone tells the room what's coming.
• "The Wonder of You" by Elvis Presley (1970). Live from Las Vegas, crowd and all.
• "Bridge over Troubled Water" by Simon & Garfunkel (1970). Art Garfunkel sings it slow and nearly alone at first, and the last verse brings in the whole orchestra. Choose it for the steady one in the family.

Rock songs he played too loud

Loud songs for dad's funeral are fine, especially if he wore out the volume knob on the garage radio. A couple of these run long, so ask whoever is running the music to fade out at a set time. Write the time down for them.

• "Free Bird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd (1973). The album version runs past nine minutes. Use the slow first half during the service and let the guitar solo play people out.
• "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd (1975). It opens with a radio being tuned before an acoustic guitar comes in. Pink Floyd wrote it about a friend who was gone in a different way.
• "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" by Bob Dylan (1973). Written for a dying sheriff in the film Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, and only about two and a half minutes long.
• "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin (1971). Eight minutes, soft at the start and loud at the end. If time is tight, the first few minutes stand on their own.
• "Against the Wind" by Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band (1980). A man looking back at how hard he ran when he was young.
• "Learning to Fly" by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers (1991). Tom Petty sings that the coming down is the hard part. Gentle enough for the middle of the service.
• "Don't Look Back in Anger" by Oasis (1995). The chorus is made for a room that wants to sing together. Noel Gallagher takes the lead vocal.
• "Keep Me in Your Heart" by Warren Zevon (2003). Zevon recorded it knowing he was dying. It asks to be remembered and very little else.
• "The Show Must Go On" by Queen (1991). Freddie Mercury was very ill when Queen recorded it. Turn it up.

Hymns he might have known by heart

If the service is in a church, a hymn gives everyone something to do with their voice when the words won't come. Print the lyrics in the order of service, even for the hymns people swear they know. If time is short, the organist can drop a verse when asked.

• "Amazing Grace" (hymn). The words are by John Newton, a former slave-ship captain. On bagpipes it suits a family with Scottish or Irish roots.
• "How Great Thou Art" (hymn). It began as a Swedish poem. The refrain is big, so let the organ lead and the room follow.
• "Abide with Me" (hymn). Henry Francis Lyte wrote it while he was dying, and the crowd at England's FA Cup final still sings it before kickoff.
• "The Old Rugged Cross" (hymn). Slow and familiar, for a dad who grew up in a small country church.
• "It Is Well with My Soul" (hymn). After his four daughters died at sea, Horatio Spafford wrote these words. One father's hymn, sung for another.
• "Eternal Father, Strong to Save" (hymn). The US Navy calls it the Navy Hymn, and the Royal Navy sings it too. If he served at sea, ask for it.

For the photo slideshow

The night before, someone will sit up late with a shoebox of prints and a scanner. You might find the photo of him in the fishing hat near the bottom of the box. Sixty photos at five seconds each need about five minutes of music, so plan on two songs back to back, or one long one.

• "In My Life" by The Beatles (1965). Under two and a half minutes, so pair it with a longer song. The sped-up piano solo in the middle sounds almost like a harpsichord.
• "Forever Young" by Rod Stewart (1988). A father's wishes for his children. Put it under the photos of him with you when you were small.
• "Memories Are Made of This" by Dean Martin (1955). Light and quick, for the black-and-white years.
• "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran (2014). If half the photos have your mom in them too, use it for that stretch.
• "Fix You" by Coldplay (2005). Chris Martin wrote it while his wife was grieving her father. It starts on an organ and the drums come in late, so save the best photos for the end.
• "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers (1972). Withers grew up in a West Virginia coal town where neighbors looked after each other, and the song came out of that.
• "Thank You for the Music" by ABBA (1977). For the dad who sang along in the car and didn't care who heard.

Walking out after the service

There is a moment at the end when everyone stands and nobody knows quite where to look. A song with some lift gets people moving toward the doors. Later, the order of service will ride home on the passenger seat, and this may be the song still playing in someone's head.

• "On the Road Again" by Willie Nelson (1980). For the dad who was happiest behind a wheel.
• "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum (1969). Fuzz guitar and handclaps, and the words are about being laid to rest.
• "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley and the Wailers (1977). Easy for the grandchildren to sing.
• "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra (1977). If it rained all week and the sun comes out for the funeral, play this one.
• "Walk of Life" by Dire Straits (1985). That organ riff gets people walking whether they mean to or not.

The song he'd pick, and the one the room needs

At the kitchen table, the funeral songs for dad usually come down to two. One is the song he would have chosen, maybe the one he played at his workbench until the speaker buzzed, or the one he made everybody sing in the car. The other helps a room full of people get through the service, and it's often slower and more familiar.

You can use both.

Put the gentle one in the middle of the service and save his for the walk out or the slideshow, where a loud guitar can play under his photos. If the family can't agree, let whoever sat with him most at the end have the last word.

A song with his name in it

Maybe none of these sound like him. The coffee can of screws and the lawn mowed in stripes every Saturday never made it into a famous song. On HeartCraft's song page you can hand over details like that, and his name comes back sung in the chorus with your stories worked into the lines.

It takes about 10 minutes and arrives as a link on WhatsApp or email, easy to forward to the cousins. Planning to play it at the service? Check the song page first.

Smaller questions about the music

How many songs does a funeral usually need?

Three to five songs cover most services, with one as people arrive, one or two in the middle, one under the slideshow and one for walking out. A short graveside service may need only one.

Are there funeral songs for father figures, like a stepdad or grandfather?

Yes. Most songs about the kind of man he was will work for any father figure, and the country list has one written about a stepfather. For a grandfather, the crooners tend to suit the photos best.

What if mom and dad had a song together?

Play it. A couple's song can say more about him than any song about fathers. If you're choosing music for her as well, there's a separate list of funeral songs for mom.

Can we play a recording of his voice?

Yes, if the venue's speakers can take it. Save the voicemail or video as an audio file on a phone or USB stick, and test it in the room beforehand, because phone recordings often come out quieter than music.