Funeral songs for a service, a slideshow or a celebration of life

Funeral songs usually go in four places.

The first plays as people come in and find a seat, and another sits in the middle, often after the eulogy. When the coffin leaves, a third song goes with it. A photo slideshow, if there is one, needs a few songs of its own.

If you've been handed the music and need one song right now, make it "What a Wonderful World" by Louis Armstrong (1967). It's under three minutes, and every age in the room knows it.

Hymns families still ask for

Hymns are still the funeral songs most church families start with, even families who haven't been to church in years.

The organist will likely know these Christian songs for funerals by heart. Print the words in the order of service, because most people only remember the first verse. If you're worried the room won't sing, ask the organist to play the tune through once before anyone starts.

• "Amazing Grace" (hymn). Nearly everyone in the room can sing it without the words in front of them. If a piper is playing, ask for this one.
• "How Great Thou Art" (hymn). It began as a Swedish poem in the 1880s. Elvis Presley's version came out in 1967, and some older relatives will want that one.
• "The Lord's My Shepherd" (hymn). Psalm 23, from the old Scottish Psalter. Ask the organist for the tune Crimond by name.
• "Abide with Me" (hymn). Slow and steady. English football fans know it from the FA Cup final.
• "It Is Well with My Soul" (hymn). Horatio Spafford wrote it in 1873, after his four daughters drowned at sea. The story is worth a line in the order of service.
• "In the Garden" (hymn). For the person who was happiest outside with dirt on their hands. It's gentle enough for a soloist.
• "Be Still, My Soul" (hymn). The tune is Finlandia by Sibelius, which suits someone who loved classical music. Nobody gets left behind at this pace.
• "The Old Rugged Cross" (hymn). Four verses and a chorus. Cut a verse if the service is running long.
• "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" (hymn). Hopeful without being loud. Good on the way out, when people are standing and the doors are open.
• "Be Thou My Vision" (hymn). An old Irish melody called Slane, and easy on a room that doesn't usually sing.

Gospel songs for a church that sings

If the person who died grew up in a gospel church, the family will probably want at least one of these. Gospel songs for funerals tend to lift the room, so many families put one near the end.

Live recordings can run long. Ask whoever is pressing play to fade out after the last chorus. A church choir may be glad to sing one live instead.

• "Take Me to the King" by Tamela Mann (2012). Sung slowly, almost pleading. Give it the quiet middle of the service.
• "Total Praise" by Richard Smallwood (1996). A choir song that closes on a long run of amens.
• "Soon and Very Soon" by Andraé Crouch (1976). Easy for a congregation to pick up by the second time through. The words look forward to seeing the King.
• "Never Would Have Made It" by Marvin Sapp (2007). Choose it if faith carried the family through a long illness. It's a thank-you song at heart.
• "I Smile" by Kirk Franklin (2011). About smiling on a hard day. Expect people to clap along.
• "I'll Fly Away" by Alison Krauss and Gillian Welch (2000). Two voices in bluegrass harmony, bright enough for the walk out to the hearse.
• "Oh Happy Day" by The Edwin Hawkins Singers (1969). Joy from the first bar, with the choir answering the lead line by line. Save it for the very end.

Country songs for funerals

Ask the family what they played on long drives. That usually settles it.

Listen to each song all the way through before you choose. Country songs tell whole stories. The second verse can take a turn you didn't expect.

• "Go Rest High on That Mountain" by Vince Gill (1994). Gill started it after Keith Whitley died and finished it after his own brother died.
• "Holes in the Floor of Heaven" by Steve Wariner (1998). The story moves from a grandmother's death to a daughter's wedding day.
• "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chesney (2005). For someone who died young. It wonders what their life would look like now.
• "The Dance" by Garth Brooks (1989). About being glad you had the time, even knowing how it ended. Husbands and wives often choose it for each other.
• "How Can I Help You Say Goodbye" by Patty Loveless (1993). Its last verse is about losing a mother. The verses before it are smaller goodbyes, like a best friend moving away.
• "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" by Justin Moore (2011). Imagines heaven as a day trip with the kids. Light enough for a service with children in the front row.
• "See You Again" by Carrie Underwood (2012). Sung at full voice, with a chorus that lifts. Play it as the coffin leaves.
• "Over You" by Miranda Lambert (2011). Blake Shelton helped write it, about his brother's death. Keep the volume low.

Funeral songs for the older generation

Grandparents and great-grandparents tend to want the songs they danced to, or the ones that played on the kitchen radio. Ask an older relative which recording they mean. Plenty of these were sung by more than one singer, and the versions can sound very different.

Older recordings can sound thin through a small speaker, so check the volume from the back row.

• "La Vie en rose" by Édith Piaf (1947). Sung in French, and lovely for a grandmother who spoke it or always meant to see Paris.
• "Smile" by Nat King Cole (1954). The tune is Charlie Chaplin's, from one of his own films. He keeps it soft from start to finish.
• "Stand by Me" by Ben E. King (1961). A bass line nearly everyone can hum. Good while people find their seats.
• "You'll Never Walk Alone" by Gerry and the Pacemakers (1963). From the musical Carousel. Liverpool fans sing it at every home game.
• "In My Life" by The Beatles (1965). Short enough to fit between two readings. John Lennon looks back at the people and places he loved.
• "Unchained Melody" by The Righteous Brothers (1965). Bobby Hatfield sings it alone, and there's one long high note near the end.
• "My Way" by Frank Sinatra (1969). Paul Anka wrote the English words. Some families keep it for the very last song.
• "Bridge over Troubled Water" by Simon and Garfunkel (1970). It starts with piano and Art Garfunkel's voice and grows much bigger by the end. It's close to five minutes long.
• "Morning Has Broken" by Cat Stevens (1971). Rick Wakeman plays the piano on this version of a 1931 hymn. It works in church and out of it.
• "The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand (1973). For the couple who kept every anniversary card.

Modern songs from the last 20 years

Younger relatives often end up in charge of the music, and they usually want songs for funerals that sound like the person's own playlist.

Play each one through in the room first. A quiet piano song can disappear under a chapel's air conditioning. Download the studio version, too, because a live recording can open with cheering and a long intro.

• "Supermarket Flowers" by Ed Sheeran (2017). Sheeran in his mother's voice, tidying up after a death. Quiet enough for the moment before the eulogy.
• "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi (2018). One voice and a piano, and a chorus the younger cousins will know.
• "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol (2006). Quiet for a long time, then it builds. Fade it early in a small room.
• "To Build a Home" by The Cinematic Orchestra (2007). Patrick Watson sings over piano and strings. It's a long song, so plan where it stops.
• "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele (2008). For a husband or wife, mostly. Adele sings it so softly that people lean in.
• "Marjorie" by Taylor Swift (2020). Taylor Swift's song for her grandmother. If yours sang, in a choir or just in the kitchen, this is the one.
• "Memories" by Maroon 5 (2019). A toast to everyone who's missing, over a tune the room half knows already.
• "Rise Up" by Andra Day (2015). Slow and determined. Play it after the eulogy, when people need a minute.
• "Butterfly Fly Away" by Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus (2009). Miley sings it with her real-life dad. A daughter saying goodbye to her own dad may want this one.

Upbeat songs for a celebration of life

It's fine to end on something bright, especially for someone who was the loudest laugh at every party. Put it last, as people stand to leave.

Some families save these for the reception instead, once the folding chairs are out and the stories start.

• "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles (1969). George Harrison wrote it on a sunny day in Eric Clapton's garden. Just over three minutes long.
• "Spirit in the Sky" by Norman Greenbaum (1969). Fuzz guitar and handclaps, with words about where you go when you die.
• "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (1967). For the friend who always showed up. Two voices trade the lines, so it suits a brother and sister choosing together.
• "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley and the Wailers (1977). Easy to sing, even for small children. The chorus is mostly the same few words.
• "Mr. Blue Sky" by Electric Light Orchestra (1977). It runs about five minutes, so fade it if the service is tight on time.
• "You've Got a Friend in Me" by Randy Newman (1995). Grandchildren will know it from Toy Story. Randy Newman sings it at the piano.
• "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw (2004). A man gets a hard diagnosis and starts saying yes to everything.
• "I Lived" by OneRepublic (2013). Hopeful, with a big chorus to walk out on.

Songs for the funeral slideshow

Before you pick slideshow songs, sort the photos into rough chapters, such as childhood and the later years. Give each chapter its own song. The slowest one goes last.

A practical note: test the finished file on the funeral director's laptop a day early. Files that play at home can freeze on another computer.

If the slideshow runs while people are still arriving, keep the volume low enough to talk over. Turn it up for the last song.

• "Photograph" by Ed Sheeran (2014). The video is cut from his own childhood home movies, so it suits the baby pictures at the start.
• "Remember When" by Alan Jackson (2003). A couple looking back at their whole marriage, kids and all. Long-married grandparents will hear themselves in it.
• "Wind Beneath My Wings" by Bette Midler (1988). From the film Beaches. It sits well under photos of a mom or a dad.
• "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan (1997). Mostly piano and her voice. Put it over the quietest photos.
• "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton (1992). He wrote it after his young son died. The guitar stays soft all the way through.
• "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban (2003). Originally by Secret Garden, the Irish and Norwegian duo. It starts small and ends big.
• "Time to Say Goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman (1996). Sung mostly in Italian, and it builds slowly. Hold it for the last photo.

How many songs you need and where they go

Three songs for a funeral is the usual number, with one on the way in and one on the way out. The third goes in the middle. If your cousin Chloe is reading the poem, put it straight after her, so people get a minute with the words.

Call the funeral home early and ask how they play music, since some churches only have the organ. The length of the slot matters too, because crematoriums often book services back to back.

Give whoever presses play a printed list with a cue for each song, like after the poem or as the coffin leaves. They need a clear view of the front.

Bring a backup on a USB stick labeled in marker, and keep the same songs on a second phone.

For a slideshow, allow about three minutes per song. A slideshow of 80 photos at five seconds each runs just under seven minutes. That's two songs, or three if each photo stays up a little longer.

A song written about them

Sometimes none of these songs is quite them. HeartCraft can make a song written from your memories of them instead. You send a few stories, the small ones only the family knows, and their name ends up in the chorus. It comes back as a link on WhatsApp or email in about 10 minutes. You can forward that link to the rest of the family, or keep it for their birthday. Check the song page first if you want it played at the service.

A few more questions

Can you play non-religious songs at a church funeral?

Often, yes, but it's the church's call, and some are stricter than others. Ask the minister or priest before anything goes to print. A song they won't allow inside can usually still play at the graveside.

What if the person left a list of songs?

Use it. If something on it won't work in a church, play it at the reception, where nobody has to approve it.

Should the song titles go in the order of service?

Yes, if there's room on the card. People often want to find a song again a week later, and the title and artist under each moment make that easy. Plain black type on cream card reads best in a dim chapel.

What if the family can't agree on the songs?

Give each side of the family one song. The closest relative gets the last one, the song for the way out.